Radio Goo-Goo, Radio Ga-Ga

 My awkwardness has been with me since a young age. I have a lot of evidence to support this. The difference between then and now is that when I was younger I was not self-conscious about being awkward. I rolled with it and wore it like a super-hero cape. 

Both of my children love hearing stories of me and my husband when we were little kids. I indulge them all the time. I love telling these stories and watching my kids laugh and laugh at their weird-o mother. Here is one of their favorite stories.

Way back when, I was a vivacious Kindergartener. My Kindergarten teacher wrote a note to my mother that said - "She certainly is a peppy member of our class." I think by peppy she meant batshit crazy. 

In Kindergarten, we had multiple Show & Tell opportunities. I loved a good Show & Tell and saw it as my performance time. I literally created a show out of Show & Tell.

One month, the theme of Show & Tell was Favorite Baby Items. Wow, wow, wow. What a theme for my monthly Show & Tell performance. My classmates and teacher were in for a treat. 

The day of Show & Tell came. I brought in three of my baby items in a brown paper bag. Item 1 - floral baby bonnet; Item 2 - baby rattle; Item 3 - My "nigh-nigh" which is what I called my special blanket.

At Show & Tell time, the Kindergarteners all sat on a special story carpet. We were in a circle all waiting for our turn to show off our special items. I imagine each kid stood up in front of the circle and showed their item to the group while giving a brief explanation of what the item was. You know, they did the thing in the normal way. Some were probably shy about it. I waited impatiently for my turn.

Then the teacher called my name. "Molly, why don't you show us what you brought."

"Okay," I replied. "I need to get ready."

I'm sure my teacher took in a deep breath before she agreed. There was a low bookcase on one side of the special story carpet. I scrambled behind the bookcase hidden from any prying eyes. I needed to save the surprises for my performance! 

I took the baby bonnet and stretched it onto my head. I took the rattle in one hand and grabbed my Nigh-Nigh in the other hand. I got down on all fours and readied myself for the show. 

I poked my head out from the bookcase and began to crawl - CRAWL, like a baby - towards my classmates on the special story carpet. You see, not only had I brought in my special baby items, but I was the only person who chose to become a baby. As I crawled, I began cooing, "Goo-goo, ga-ga. Goo-Goo, ga-ga." I said this over and over. I'd get a few crawls in and then I'd shake my rattle. Crawl, crawl. Goo-Goo, ga-ga. Rattle Shake. Crawl, crawl, crawl. Goo-goo, ga-ga. Rattle Shake, Rattle Shake. 

The audience and especially my teacher were stunned into silence by my Show & Tell genius. As it should be.

End scene - fade to black. To be fair, I don't remember how it ended. I'm sure I stopped crawling at some point. And I likely ditched the rattle and Nigh-Nigh into my backpack. But I'm fairly certain the baby bonnet and baby talk stayed with me until I left for the day.