Uphill Both Ways

 I drive a minivan and absolutely love the experience. The only thing I do not love about my minivan is its inability to navigate winter roads. Minivans suck in the winter! Or, truth be told, I am a bad winter driver. So maybe I can't blame the van for this one BUT I do blame the van.

There is a treacherous winter road in St. Paul, Minnesota. It brings people from the top of the river bluffs on the west side of St. Paul down to the outer edge of downtown which sits right on the mighty Mississippi river. The road is essentially a big, windy hill with one rough blind twist. As you go into that twist, you do not know what is coming at you on the other side. Could be an open road; could be a semi-truck who is not sharing the narrow road! 

For many years, I drove this road every single day to get to and from my office building.

Now, a smart person driving a minivan that did not handle winter roads well may avoid this road on a snowy and icy day. That smart person would have changed course. There are at least 5 different ways I could drive myself home in these bad weather situations. I'm not saying I'm dumb but I am committed to the point of idiocy to sticking to my driving routine. I would take this twisty, windy, steep, icy hill home no matter the weather.

One very snowy winter's day, this commitment to my routine was a mistake. A real pickle of a situation with an unlikely hero!

If there is something working Minnesotans hate to see it is a weekday blizzard starting sometime between 1 and 2 p.m. Snow can accumulate quickly in a blizzard. Snowplows will not be able to clear the roads by rush hour. The drive home is a white knuckle drive in a white out. Horrible.

One particular day, I was at work and morning talk of an afternoon blizzard was strong. Once that talk starts, another conversation begins. The conversation of whether your boss will allow you to leave work early to get home before the roads get horrible. My experience is a boss never initiates this conversation - they wait for their workers to ask. And the workers cannot ask until you know the situation is bad.

Around 11:00 a.m., the snow started falling. Softly at first. At noon, the pace had picked up. You could tell this snow was building. A coworker whispered to me, "Are you going to ask to leave early?" I responded, "Maybe. I'm going to see what it looks like at 1:00 p.m." 

The one-o'clock time came and the sidewalks had a layer of fresh, white snow upon them. My husband called and said I should ask to leave work early. I felt conflicted. I hated asking to leave early. I hated having to cancel meetings because I was leaving early due to weather. It was one thing if your boss cut you free - but to have to ask to leave? I felt a certain shame in that.

So, I did not ask. We weren't in a blizzard. The driving would be bad but not impossible. 

I left work at my normal time. I pulled on my trusty Sorel boots and trudged through some thick sidewalk snow. Once I got to my car, I spent about 20 minutes defrosting the windshield and brushing snow off of my car. Then I got in and got moving.

I moved myself right to that twisty and windy hill. I started at the bottom of the hill in my minivan. At the start, no one was behind me. The car started slowly vrooming up, up, up to the first twist. I was going grandma style slow. A car was now behind me - following me too closely for this weather! We went through the first turn. I could feel a few tire slips as we made that first turn. There was built up snow on the roads and underneath was a slick slushy, icy mixture causing the tires to have bad traction. Or maybe the van just had bad tires - who is to know. I continued in my van.

As we turned twist 2 and 3 a few more cars were piling up behind me. I was getting stressed. We were approaching the blind twist. I kept pushing my sweet little van up that hill. We made the blind twist and I thought I was home free. One last twisty turny and we would be grand. 

The last twisty came and my tires started slipping. They could not get traction. I was still on an uphill and the tires were spinning a bit. I tried to accelerate through. Then the car revved. I was stopped. stuck. I couldn't get through the snow build-up. There were at least 5 cars behind me that were now all stopped. Some were honking. I'm sure everyone was swearing. I was crying. 

I cried and kept trying to rev forward but that van did not want to go. THe guy behind me was now trying to go around and then he got stuck. I was creating a situation and I had no idea how to get out of it. Behind me, I saw police lights. The POLICE were now coming to pull me over for the dangerous situation I had created. The tears and stress and anxiety were at a 10. The police car pulls next to me and stops. Lights going, siren blared once. 

Out of the police car steps a very annoyed but familiar officer. He shook his head a bit and started directing the traffic behind me around me. The cars started either turning around or going around if they were able. Then the officer faced me with a look that said he was going to yell. He stopped when he saw my face. It was my husband. MY HUSBAND PULLED ME OVER!

He tapped on my window and I rolled it down. "I'm sorry", I yell-cried. "I don't know how to drive this van in this weather." My husband looked at me calmly and said, "MOlly, get out of the car." I got out of the van and he got in the driver seat. He motioned me to go over to the opposite side of the road and he simply turned the car around. Now it was facing downhill. 

I came around to the driver side and asked if he was going to yell at me? He laughed and said, you are a real dope. Drive this car down the hill and take the main roads home. I mean - why did I not think of that in the first place?

Me and my van slid down the twisty hill to the main raod which was cleanly plowed. It easily made the rest of the ride home. My sweet husband followed behind me the entire way.