January - The Long and Short of It

 January is a challenging month for me. The weather and dreary mood make it difficult for me to stay motivated. Most of my time in January is spent wishing for April. It is a long 31 days to get through.

Did you know that some colleges hibernate in January? There's this weird thing called January Term, or J-Term. It's basically a one-month break from college, but for a few courses and the saps who are stuck taking them. 

The college I went to, nestled snugly next to the Mississippi River in St. Paul, Minnesota, used J-Term. Freshman and Sophomore year, I avoided school altogether during January. I spent my time sleeping in, skiing, and working extra hours. By February, I was back in school for spring semester. It was a fun time. My Junior year I spent J-Term traipsing across Europe taking a "music and arts" course. Senior Year was the only year I spent my J-Term on college campus and in class.

In order to complete a double major, I had to take a J-Term course my Senior year. I signed up for English 211, which met Monday through Thursday, 8:00 a.m. - noon. I worked in the school's Human Resources office, and they allowed me to work every day in January from 1:00 p.m. to 5:00 p.m. My January schedule was set.

I remember walking across a blustery campus on the first day of class. It was so cold, and campus was unnaturally quiet and dark. I was depressed. I spent the next four hours reading and writing and filling my assignment notebook with homework. Then I trudged back across campus to my apartment to make lunch before braving the elements yet again to get to the Human Resources office.

By the end of that first day, I was mentally unwell. I remember walking out of the large stone Administrative building the HR office is located in. I sucked in a stinging breath of subzero air and started the walk to my apartment. The sun had already set and it was next level dark. That kind of dark that only deep winter brings. It had snowed in the afternoon and the sidewalks were snow-covered and slippery. 

This was not the introduction back to college I wanted, and I had four more weeks to get through! I kept ruminating on how much I disliked January. 

As I was starting in on my English 211 homework, I did an internet search for "When does it start getting light in the evenings after winter solstice?" Some light would greatly help my mental health! I found an article saying each night after December 21, the sun would set on average 2.5 minutes later. So, if the sun set tonight at 4:25 p.m. then tomorrow it would set around 4:27 p.m.; next night about 4:30 p.m.

Two and one-half minutes is not a lot of time, but at least it is quantifiable. I looked up the time the sun set that night and calculated forward. I realized that by the end of the month when J-Term was wrapping up, I would be walking home from my HR job in the sweet, sweet light of day. 

Suddenly I realized January was manageable. Each day I was getting closer and closer to more sun and light. I just had to keep going. 

Each day of the week I would walk out of the Administrative building and look around. The first week was still pitch black. The second week I started noting more dusky tones of gray clouds in the air. By the third week, it was only mildly dark and, of course, by the fourth and final week of J-Term I would indeed walk home from work with a lighter sky around me. The snow was there and it was still cold but that little bit of light made my heart a bit brighter.

This is how I've lived through January ever since. I just keep going until it's light again.