Bless These Dogs

 October 4th is The Feast of St. Francis of Assissi, patron saint of animals. At my children's school, they celebrate this feast day with a very special blessing of the animals. All families can come along with their four-legged friend to a short, outdoor prayer service honoring our special animals.

At the end of August, 2020, our beloved family pet died unexpectedly. His name was Kirby and he was a Bloodhoud/Coonhound mix. He was there one day - active, loving, and anxious. And then at 3:00 p.m. the next day he refused his dinner and stumbled a bit on his evening walk. The following day we learned there was a huge tumor in his stomach and his life was over. It was traumatic.

All of this happened 3 days before my oldest daughter was set to start First Grade. She was emotional about it and scared she would lose her calm at school. I called her teacher before school started to explain the situation, and the teacher (an avid dog lover) was perfect. She gave my daughter a book about doggie heaven and printed her a picture of our dog. She told my daughter that she could talk to the teacher privately about her dog and her feelings any time she needed. She also told her that in October she could come to the Blessing of the Animals to celebrate her dog's life.

I was not really sure if I wanted to go to the Blessing of the Animals as the death was raw for me. My kids (ages 6 and 3.5) really wanted to go, though. I thought about the event for a few days and decided that we should go and sit in the back and feel St. Francis of Assissi's blessings wash over us. I was certain I would feel my dog's loving spirit at the blessing.

The day of the event was a beautiful fall day. There was a crispness to the air but the sun was out and shining. I had framed a photograph of Kirby for my two children and decided to bring it with to the blessing so that they could look upon the photo as they reflected on the love they had for their dog.

The ceremony was held in a large, grassy field. There were about one hundred families with animals - most of them dogs - all scattered in the field to celebrate. The priest started the ceremony with some lively music ("All God's Creatures Have a Place in the Choir") that really got the dogs howling. It was funny...until it wasn't.

Hearing these dogs howl with the music got me a little weepy for my own dog. I started crying. I put on my sunglasses so no one would see me but my kids noticed. My not-so-tactful 3-year-old started loudly (she had to shout over the music and prayers) asking me why I was crying. "WHY YOU CRYIN', MOM?" Which just got me crying harder. Here I was sitting in a field with a bunch of happy dog owners bawling tears of un-dealt with grief over the death of my own dog.

The priest read a few bible passages about animals and some kids read short poems they wrote about animals. I was becoming more and more sad as I heard about how great it is to have a pet in your house. I just wanted to get the hell out of there. 

After the readings, the priest began his official blessing. As he did, my older daughter grabbed the framed photograph and held it high above her head. She was crying and holding this picture high up to the heavens with a defiant look on her face that said to all the happy, smiling people around us "I too have known the love of a dog." I think she wanted someone to notice her and to notice her pain but also how special her past dog was. It was truly heartbreaking, and I was quickly losing all control over my emotions.

When the priest started back up with another round of All God's Creatures Have a Place in the Choir, I grabbed both kids and bolted for the parking lot. All 3 of us were crying (myself and my 6-year-old from grief and my poor 3-year-old because she wanted to finish singing the song). As I got into the car, I let the flood of tears come and we drove home in the solitude of 3 people grieving and sobbing privately.

Sitting there in the car thinking of my sweet kiddo holding up her photo while the sun washed over her and dogs howled along to prayers and music, I finally felt the presence and spirit of my own dog. My dog, Kirby, was filled with an anxious chaos always bubbling at the surface. He would have hated being at the Blessing of the Animals. His true peace would have come in the comfort of being with his family after such a stressful event. He would have loved that Brigid was showing the world her love for him becuase he loved the girls fiercely. And he would have loved Isabel didn't give a shit. I felt the blessings of life and autumn and dog ownership was over me which healed a little of my pain.