I was born in 1981. My life really hit its
stride in the early 1990’s. Here is a story about a dark memory that only a 90's kid can tell.
My mother loved the soap opera All My
Children. There were more popular soaps to watch, but this was the one for
my mom and so by default this was the one for me. From an inappropriately young
age I knew all the goings on of the residents of Pine Valley, Pennsylvania.
My mom worked outside of the home, so this daytime TV was
actually Primetime viewing for our family. We would not watch the show every
night. Rather, my mom would tape (on a VHS tape for the millennials) the show
each day. The she would wait until she had a few episodes stored up, and we would
binge watch. Fast forward through all of the commercials and the story
lines that we did not care about. Looking at you, Brooke English.
There we would be. Sitting on my mom’s bed getting
excited over a character’s fourth illegitimate child or their sixth engagement
or their seventh almost death. I was not an invited guest, but my mom couldn't wait until I was tucked into bed and so I got to watch with her. I loved it.
Watching the show created the very unrealistic belief for me that adult life
was flitting from one life drama to another all while fabulously coiffed and
dressed. Throw in daily, leisurely luncheons. And, of course, continuing to climb the
corporate ladder of your dream job that you fit in when convenient for you.
This was the glamorous part of our soap opera watching.
There was a dark side, however, and remembering that dark side still fills me
with terror some 30 years later.
For those not in the know about VHS recording, here is what
you need to know. VHS is a large tape that can be inserted into a machine
called a VCR. The VCR connects to your TV and can both play the content of the
tape AND record content from your TV. So, say my mom wants to watch All
My Children at 11:00 a.m. on a Wednesday but she is at work during that time. Well, the VCR gives
an easy solution whereby you pop-in your VHS tape, schedule a recording, and
voila the machine records your favorite shows for you to watch later.
This works great. Unless someone innocently, accidentally,
and unintentionally cancels the scheduled recording. Then we are all fucked.
Soap operas were not replayed. There was no streaming service in the 90’s where
you could watch at your leisurely pleasure. You either saw Gillian Andrassy
Lavery return from a very certain death or you did not. There was no in
between. And if someone innocently, accidentally, and unintentionally canceled
the scheduled recording where Gillian Andrassy Lavery was scheduled to return
from certain death…well…mother was not happy about it.
Fun fact about the character of Gillian (Andrassy Lavery). In college, my
roommate bestie was a communications major. Also a communications major at our
college was a guy who had a speaking role in the movie The Mighty Ducks. He was a Hawk. My roommate was paired up with this famous ac-tor to recreate a soap scene.
They had to produce, direct, and film the scene. The duo selected a scene from All
My Children with the characters of Gillian and her husband Ryan. The famous
ac-tor stepped up to play Ryan and my roommate sugar talked me into being
Gillian because she said I looked like Gillian. It was not true, but flattery
works and I agreed. So, I once played the part of Gillian with a famous ac-tor for
a 5-minute film produced for an entry level college communications class. It
was some of my best work. A non-kissing scene no matter how hard my agent
negotiated for me.
Back to our story and my mom being pissed because I screwed
around with the VCR and canceled her recording of All My Children. Back in the 1990's a missed VCR taping was a real rage fest. At best, you could catch the show
during an off-sweep week when the network re-ran the best episodes of the
season. Middling you could catch it during summer re-runs. But worst-case
scenario was you missed an hour with your favorite friends. In soap opera time, missing an hour is like missing 6 months! So many things can happen! My rear-end is clenching
together as I type these remembrances.
Here is how the situation usually played out. I would be sitting
at school learning about something mundane like integers when I would have a
flash of turning off the VCR because it was interfering with my morning
cartoons. Did I remember to turn the VCR back on? It would give me a
stomachache for the rest of the day. I’d get home and race upstairs to the VCR.
If it was on, there would be a little red light indicating POWER. If the face
of the VCR was dark then nothing recorded. Eek. I’d quick turn the VCR back on
and hope mom would never notice. My young brain would rationalize that even if
she did notice there was no evidence that I committed this malfeasance. It
could be an issue with the device; a true tech failure!
There were times when my mom blamed the machine, but most of
the time it was well known that a failed recording was likely my fault.
The question was often asked, “Why are you touching this machine?” I would
whimper out an, “I don’t know. I am sorry.” But I would never not do it again,
you know.
This fearful story, which played out again and again in my
youth, was one I had shoved into a deep place in my mind. A few years ago, my
husband and I were talking about some of our favorite shows growing up and we
got to talking about taping shows on the good old VCR. I would tape episodes of
Saturday Night Live. He would tape hours of late night HBO in the hopes he
would catch snippets of an adult movie not suitable for children’s eyes.
Anyhoodles, we were chatting about this and all of the
sudden I told him about the dark side of the VCR. “Did you ever turn off the
VCR when your mom or dad had it set to record something?” I asked him. A furrowing
of his brow and a little droplet of sweat indicated that he too had suffered
this stressor.
“I had totally forgotten about that!” He exclaimed. His answer
was yes, he or one of his sibling’s had often inadvertently canceled one of his
dad’s set recordings.
“Did your dad get really mad? Because my mother would get very mad at me.”
Yes, he said again, he remembers hearing his dad thunder from the
den, “WHO TURNED OFF THIS VCR?” and all of the siblings would hide.
It made us laugh knowing this was a shared stress of being a
90’s kid.
When I think on thee, my dear friend the VHS tape, I am
filled with nostalgia and fear. The 1990’s were a golden time.
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